It's almost over, sadly, but please read over this site and think about where you could start a No-Name-Calling Week in your own school! I heard about this at a youth group I was invited to by a dear friend, and I thought this was an awesome idea.
http://www.nonamecallingweek.org/cgi-bin/iowa/all/about/index.html
The point of this is to get a dialogue going about the effects of bullying in schools and how to prevent it. Seeing how the streak of anti-gay bullying resulting in suicide continues, I can't help but stress this as a partial solution to this terrible trend.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Youtube Account!
I'm proud to announce that we have created a new Youtube account! This "vlog" (video blog) will be just like this blog, but you will get to see an actual person talking about these issues rather than a mysterious being typing stuff to you:) Enjoy!
http://www.youtube.com/user/tourniquet4theundead
http://www.youtube.com/user/tourniquet4theundead
Friday, December 10, 2010
TURN AROUND TIP #3 (Part 1): Stress
Having anxiety myself, I have a pretty big knowledge base of what can help in this situation. I've got so much stuff on this subject, that I actually have to put it into two parts. (That and it's three o'clock in the morning.)
Oh, and a little side note, if you haven't read my "Introducing Turn Around Tips" entry, I'll give you the basic info: These are just a few things I've either learned from my own experience, a counselor or a book. I originally named them "Counter Acting Tips," but that didn't sound right. "Turn Around Tips" sounded cooler8D They are meant to "undo" or "counter" any suicidal thoughts and help you "turn around" and head down the path of life rather than death. Like I've mentioned many times before, no one on here's a professional and please do not take this as professional advice. (I feel like some sort of work-out video or infomercial for vitamins!)
THOUGHT: "I can't handle this stress!" "I just can't get away from this stress," "I'll never be able to live like this!"
TURN AROUND BY:
1. Getting rid of the thing that stresses you out. Well, this is kind of a big duh, but it's what all the counselors I've ever had try to do. Now, identifying what stresses you out and how to make it go away is easier said than done.
Lots of times (like in my case) it's a relationship. If you can't get help from a counselor or improve this relationship, then really, this tip isn't going to do you any good. Now, if it is school or the amount of responsibilities you have, that is a bit easier to do something about.
Taking too many credits? Take less next term.
Having trouble getting your assignments done? Figure out a plan to organize your coursework and plan ahead for time to do it and stick to that plan RELIGIOUSLY! Most of the time (with me, anyways) you get into bad study habits and it's harder than you think to change those habits.
As for work, is there a problem or a conflict? Do what you need to do to get it resolved, even if it causes more stress initially, it will be well worth it in the end.
How about tending to the needs of others? Sometimes, we get these way too needy people in our lives who depend on us for EVERYTHING. Don't totally abandon these people, but tell them to get some different friends, go to family members for support, etc. Take small breaks from them, so you don't get overwhelmed. Gently draw some boundries. For example, your baby sister wants you to help her with everything from homework, to boys, to relationships with your parents. Sit her down next time she asks for your help and tell her "I will help you with _______, _______ and _______, but you need to help yourself with ________, ________ and ________ or find someone else to help you. I still love you, but I cannot handle this all on my own." (And yes, I've been on both sides of this!!)
2. Take what my counselor calls "mini breaks." Every day for five or ten minutes, do something for yourself that is relaxing. I grab a cup of hot cocoa with chamomile tea or take a hot bath with bubbles and practice clearing my mind.
3. Breath. I know it sounds stupid and cliche, but there's actually a science to it! My counselor explained it to me, but I can't exactly remember. Something about oxygen to the brain and oxygen to your muscles. Do you notice that when you're really stressed your muscles tense up? Mine tense up so bad that when I finally relax, my back and sometimes even my jaw are SUPER sore. Why? I'd been clenching those muscles for hours! There's a bunch of different ways to breath that will help you. Just Google it! They key is breathing deeply enough so you get as much oxygen in as you can. I'll post some links on this some other time.
Oh, and a little side note, if you haven't read my "Introducing Turn Around Tips" entry, I'll give you the basic info: These are just a few things I've either learned from my own experience, a counselor or a book. I originally named them "Counter Acting Tips," but that didn't sound right. "Turn Around Tips" sounded cooler8D They are meant to "undo" or "counter" any suicidal thoughts and help you "turn around" and head down the path of life rather than death. Like I've mentioned many times before, no one on here's a professional and please do not take this as professional advice. (I feel like some sort of work-out video or infomercial for vitamins!)
THOUGHT: "I can't handle this stress!" "I just can't get away from this stress," "I'll never be able to live like this!"
TURN AROUND BY:
1. Getting rid of the thing that stresses you out. Well, this is kind of a big duh, but it's what all the counselors I've ever had try to do. Now, identifying what stresses you out and how to make it go away is easier said than done.
Lots of times (like in my case) it's a relationship. If you can't get help from a counselor or improve this relationship, then really, this tip isn't going to do you any good. Now, if it is school or the amount of responsibilities you have, that is a bit easier to do something about.
Taking too many credits? Take less next term.
Having trouble getting your assignments done? Figure out a plan to organize your coursework and plan ahead for time to do it and stick to that plan RELIGIOUSLY! Most of the time (with me, anyways) you get into bad study habits and it's harder than you think to change those habits.
As for work, is there a problem or a conflict? Do what you need to do to get it resolved, even if it causes more stress initially, it will be well worth it in the end.
How about tending to the needs of others? Sometimes, we get these way too needy people in our lives who depend on us for EVERYTHING. Don't totally abandon these people, but tell them to get some different friends, go to family members for support, etc. Take small breaks from them, so you don't get overwhelmed. Gently draw some boundries. For example, your baby sister wants you to help her with everything from homework, to boys, to relationships with your parents. Sit her down next time she asks for your help and tell her "I will help you with _______, _______ and _______, but you need to help yourself with ________, ________ and ________ or find someone else to help you. I still love you, but I cannot handle this all on my own." (And yes, I've been on both sides of this!!)
2. Take what my counselor calls "mini breaks." Every day for five or ten minutes, do something for yourself that is relaxing. I grab a cup of hot cocoa with chamomile tea or take a hot bath with bubbles and practice clearing my mind.
3. Breath. I know it sounds stupid and cliche, but there's actually a science to it! My counselor explained it to me, but I can't exactly remember. Something about oxygen to the brain and oxygen to your muscles. Do you notice that when you're really stressed your muscles tense up? Mine tense up so bad that when I finally relax, my back and sometimes even my jaw are SUPER sore. Why? I'd been clenching those muscles for hours! There's a bunch of different ways to breath that will help you. Just Google it! They key is breathing deeply enough so you get as much oxygen in as you can. I'll post some links on this some other time.
The Fallen Angel
I had this great idea for a story in my head, but I could not figure out what I would make it about. (Animals, people, etc.) Then I got the idea to make it about angels from Crimson's name:) It's written by me, so of course it's chalk full of symbolism. Enjoy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Once upon a time there was a sweet angel named Black. She was one of the cheeriest and prettiest angels in all of heaven. However, one day while she was sitting on a cloud contemplating all the wonders of the world, a demon captured her. He blind folded her and chained her up inside a steel cage. Then he threw the steel cage off of the cloud, and laughed as Black fell helplessly to Earth.
She landed in a mud puddle. She thrashed around in the cage trying desperately to get out. Many people passed by her, but none of them could see her or hear her screams. Exhausted, she gave up. She laid down in the middle of the cage and wept.
Another angel, Ivory, eventually heard her cries from heaven and flew down to earth. Ivory saw Black and asked "What are you doing here?"
"A demon locked me in this cage and threw me down here. I can't get out, can you please help me?" Black pleaded.
"I don't have the key to the door, so I cannot help you," Ivory said, "But you do."
"What do you mean? I don't see any key here!" Black exclaimed, fustrated.
"Take off you blind fold, sister, and you will see."
Black took off her blindfold and looked where Ivory was pointing. Laying next to her feet was a small, golden key. "Why you've found the key!" Black said, overjoyed.
"I didn't find the key, it was there all along. All you needed to do was try to see it," said Ivory.
Black quickly unlocked the door to the cage and sprang out. She dusted herself off. "My wings are broken," Black said as she looked at her wings, which were now brown with mud and straggly looking.
"They are not broken," said Ivory. Then she began to wipe the mud off of Black's wings with the bottom of her dress. "See? Good as new."
Black looked at her white, sparkling wings, and spread them wide to fly into the air, back to heaven. She lept into the air, only to be pulled back down to earth. A metal cuff had ahold of her ankle. It was attached to a long chain that led to the steel cage. "I'm chained to the cage! Now what am I going to do?" Black sobbed.
"Well, I can't help you with that. There is no way to make the cage go away. You need to fly back into heaven, and you can probably find a way to get it off there."
Ivory took Black's hand, and together they flew back up to heaven. It was not easy for Black. The cage weighed an aweful lot and her poor wings nearly gave out before she could reach the first cloud. She collapsed on a white, soft cloud.
"Whew, that was hard," Black sighed with relief. Ivory sat down next to her. Black was glad to be back home. She gazed up into the sky and realized how beautiful her home was. She was so happy to be back, and everything that she had thought she lost seemed so much more beautiful than before.
Black felt the chain holding her to the cage dissipate. The weight of the cage dropped and was gone. Black looked over the cloud and watched as the cage fell back down to Earth.
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Broken and Bruised
Losing someone you love is always hard, especially when you thought that the love would always be there. I never actually believed in the term "heartbroken" until a couple weeks ago. How could someone's heart really be broken? I mean it's the strongest muscle in the whole body, capable of coursing blood through a body and it never takes a break. I don't know how it's possible, I just know that it happens and it hurts. Dying from a broken heart? Yes I can see that now. I feel like I'm dying inside, piece by piece. Broken down and bruised I would do anything to have what I don't. During this time it has been hard for me to continue to go to work, to carry on with my life in a normal fashion. Most people don't even know that something IS wrong, that's the sad thing about being viewed as a strong person. Most people think that you can handle everything, do it on your own. The truth is, I'm not okay and I won't be for a while. People may say, oh you're only 18 you are too young to understand what this type of pain really feels like. Really? Wanna say that to my heart that feels like it's shattered into a gazillion pieces right now? I may be young, but I know. Trust me, I know the pain of many things that you wouldn't expect an 18 year old to even be able to fathom what they feel like.
It's been hard for me to not take the easy way out with this and just end it all, but I have to keep telling myself that I have things to live for, things that are relying on me. I finally got a job and I'm actually doing something with my life. Work actually does make this easier in a way. This past pay period I worked 100 hours. That's 20 hours of overtime. Somehow fixing other people's problems makes it easier to ignore mine. To hear a customer become so excited when their phone works again or when I order them a new phone makes me feel like I am doing good in this world, like I actually have a purpose.
I guess the whole point of this post was to let people know that Forever.Bunny and I are real people and that we go through some of the same stuff that anyone reading this might be going through. Keep your head up and push through it. We are always here to help :)
-CrimsonAngel
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Sexuality (Homosexuality/Weird Fetishes) and Depression/Suicide
Recently, there were six (I believe) gay high school kids who committed suicide in a city close to where I live. I, personally, have no idea why this happened, and I think whoever bullied them so much as to kill themselves is just freaking sick in the head. It's outrageous that this could happen, because the gay community in that city is huge and up around where I live, most people think it's rude to not accept someone because of their sexuality.
I believe the reason people with a different sexual orientation or "abnormal" sexualities and end up with depression is because the American culture does not educate our people enough. Also, despite our horridly sexed up movies, TV, music, etc., we are of a Puritan background. We are kind of programmed to be ashamed of anything other than heterosexual sex in the missionary position. With the whole "sex sells" thing out in the media, we've started to incorporate other sex acts into the norm, but most of them are geared towards the heterosexual male.
So, I just thought it would be good for me to announce something to all you GLBTQ and weird fetish people out there- YOU'RE NORMAL:) No matter what people say. First of all, GLBTQ people, by now, you should KNOW you're normal. Yeah, I guess you could say the creator of earth or Mother Nature did not intend for people to have sex with the same sex, get sex changes, etc., but who cares? Why does it even matter? Don't be ashamed because you are gay, bisexual, lesbian, transgendered, etc.
As for the weird fetish people, as long as it doesn't hurt anyone and everyone is consensual, it's healthy. It may not be "normal," but really, that's what a fetish is. Something that is sexually arousing to you that isn't normally to others. If you have a fetish for menstruation, go ahead and earn your red wings! If you have a fetish for stuffed animals, go ahead and live out your fuzzy dream! If you have a fetish for spanking, spank away! THE ONLY THINGS THAT I WOULD BE CAUTIOUS ABOUT ARE SADISM, HURTING YOURSELF (LIKE AMPUTATION/DANGER/SUFFOCATION FETISHES), BODILY FLUIDS/POOP AND PREGNANT LADY FETISHES. HERE'S WHY:
SADISM: Don't hurt your partner unless they are okay with it. Also, don't pressure anyone into being hurt. This is something that someone shouldn't have to compromise on. If you can't live without it and you're partner is uncomfortable with it, either ask for an open relationship or find another partner. I heard of a guy who felt he could not have sex with his girlfriend without hurting her. She hated having rough sex, and he once put hot sauce on his penis before he had sex with her without telling her. That is in NO WAY okay. Yes, he loved her, so my advice to him? Talk to her, compromise on something that doesn't hurt her, don't do anything without her permission again, and if you need to, find someone else. This is the same for humiliation and degrading remarks during sex. Really, if someone is not into that, it can cause them lots of emotional harm.
HURTING YOURSELF: This should be obvious...
BODILY FLUIDS/POOP: I BELIEVE (but not 100% sure) that menstruation is safe. Pee and sweat are definitely safe. I'd be extremely cautious of sexual fluids. They can pass diseases very easily. You do NOT want an STD in your throat or mouth!! Also, feces for obvious reasons. Don't eat it. There are many bacteria that can make you sick that lurk in people's bowels and rectums. Rimming might be okay, if your partner takes a shower.
PREGNANT LADIES: Do NOT get someone pregnant who does not want to be! End of story. Also, if someone has an ovarian cyst, they need to have it drained. If it gets too large, it can kill them if it pops. (It was an episode of house where a lady had an ovarian cyst that was so large it made her look pregnant, but she kept it there, because her husband had a fetish for pregnant women.)
Here's some lists of weird fetishes just for fun:) They are not that weird, since obviously enough people have them for it to be known.
I have known MULTIPLE people who have had different fetishes on this list.
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/703251/top_10_weird_sexual_fetishes_and_paraphilias.html?cat=7
I thought this one was cute:)
http://www.cracked.com/article_16550_an-illustrated-look-at-worlds-25-strangest-fetishes.html
I believe the reason people with a different sexual orientation or "abnormal" sexualities and end up with depression is because the American culture does not educate our people enough. Also, despite our horridly sexed up movies, TV, music, etc., we are of a Puritan background. We are kind of programmed to be ashamed of anything other than heterosexual sex in the missionary position. With the whole "sex sells" thing out in the media, we've started to incorporate other sex acts into the norm, but most of them are geared towards the heterosexual male.
So, I just thought it would be good for me to announce something to all you GLBTQ and weird fetish people out there- YOU'RE NORMAL:) No matter what people say. First of all, GLBTQ people, by now, you should KNOW you're normal. Yeah, I guess you could say the creator of earth or Mother Nature did not intend for people to have sex with the same sex, get sex changes, etc., but who cares? Why does it even matter? Don't be ashamed because you are gay, bisexual, lesbian, transgendered, etc.
As for the weird fetish people, as long as it doesn't hurt anyone and everyone is consensual, it's healthy. It may not be "normal," but really, that's what a fetish is. Something that is sexually arousing to you that isn't normally to others. If you have a fetish for menstruation, go ahead and earn your red wings! If you have a fetish for stuffed animals, go ahead and live out your fuzzy dream! If you have a fetish for spanking, spank away! THE ONLY THINGS THAT I WOULD BE CAUTIOUS ABOUT ARE SADISM, HURTING YOURSELF (LIKE AMPUTATION/DANGER/SUFFOCATION FETISHES), BODILY FLUIDS/POOP AND PREGNANT LADY FETISHES. HERE'S WHY:
SADISM: Don't hurt your partner unless they are okay with it. Also, don't pressure anyone into being hurt. This is something that someone shouldn't have to compromise on. If you can't live without it and you're partner is uncomfortable with it, either ask for an open relationship or find another partner. I heard of a guy who felt he could not have sex with his girlfriend without hurting her. She hated having rough sex, and he once put hot sauce on his penis before he had sex with her without telling her. That is in NO WAY okay. Yes, he loved her, so my advice to him? Talk to her, compromise on something that doesn't hurt her, don't do anything without her permission again, and if you need to, find someone else. This is the same for humiliation and degrading remarks during sex. Really, if someone is not into that, it can cause them lots of emotional harm.
HURTING YOURSELF: This should be obvious...
BODILY FLUIDS/POOP: I BELIEVE (but not 100% sure) that menstruation is safe. Pee and sweat are definitely safe. I'd be extremely cautious of sexual fluids. They can pass diseases very easily. You do NOT want an STD in your throat or mouth!! Also, feces for obvious reasons. Don't eat it. There are many bacteria that can make you sick that lurk in people's bowels and rectums. Rimming might be okay, if your partner takes a shower.
PREGNANT LADIES: Do NOT get someone pregnant who does not want to be! End of story. Also, if someone has an ovarian cyst, they need to have it drained. If it gets too large, it can kill them if it pops. (It was an episode of house where a lady had an ovarian cyst that was so large it made her look pregnant, but she kept it there, because her husband had a fetish for pregnant women.)
Here's some lists of weird fetishes just for fun:) They are not that weird, since obviously enough people have them for it to be known.
I have known MULTIPLE people who have had different fetishes on this list.
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/703251/top_10_weird_sexual_fetishes_and_paraphilias.html?cat=7
I thought this one was cute:)
http://www.cracked.com/article_16550_an-illustrated-look-at-worlds-25-strangest-fetishes.html
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Bri's Videos
I found this girl on Youtube, and from the video and a half that I watched, I like what she has to say. She is a teenage girl on a similar mission as me and CrimsonAngel. I'm working on getting my own videos up here, too, because being able to see the face of the person you are talking to that has been through the same thing you have really helps. In Bri's videos, she talks about her personal experiences with many issues that are the cause of depression and suicide. She also talks about anxiety and many things that I bet you guys can relate to. I know I did! Anyway, I love these videos, and thank you so much Bri for allowing me to post your link!
**DISCLAIMER: Like I said, I have not watched all of these videos, so I am unaware of their entire content. The poster is not a professional nor am I.
**DISCLAIMER: Like I said, I have not watched all of these videos, so I am unaware of their entire content. The poster is not a professional nor am I.
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