Losing someone you love is always hard, especially when you thought that the love would always be there. I never actually believed in the term "heartbroken" until a couple weeks ago. How could someone's heart really be broken? I mean it's the strongest muscle in the whole body, capable of coursing blood through a body and it never takes a break. I don't know how it's possible, I just know that it happens and it hurts. Dying from a broken heart? Yes I can see that now. I feel like I'm dying inside, piece by piece. Broken down and bruised I would do anything to have what I don't. During this time it has been hard for me to continue to go to work, to carry on with my life in a normal fashion. Most people don't even know that something IS wrong, that's the sad thing about being viewed as a strong person. Most people think that you can handle everything, do it on your own. The truth is, I'm not okay and I won't be for a while. People may say, oh you're only 18 you are too young to understand what this type of pain really feels like. Really? Wanna say that to my heart that feels like it's shattered into a gazillion pieces right now? I may be young, but I know. Trust me, I know the pain of many things that you wouldn't expect an 18 year old to even be able to fathom what they feel like.
It's been hard for me to not take the easy way out with this and just end it all, but I have to keep telling myself that I have things to live for, things that are relying on me. I finally got a job and I'm actually doing something with my life. Work actually does make this easier in a way. This past pay period I worked 100 hours. That's 20 hours of overtime. Somehow fixing other people's problems makes it easier to ignore mine. To hear a customer become so excited when their phone works again or when I order them a new phone makes me feel like I am doing good in this world, like I actually have a purpose.
I guess the whole point of this post was to let people know that Forever.Bunny and I are real people and that we go through some of the same stuff that anyone reading this might be going through. Keep your head up and push through it. We are always here to help :)
-CrimsonAngel
i think a good way to releive alot of this stress is to help others like u had sayed doing anything that will help someone else by either comunity service or getting a job that will some how help some one. i meen it doesn't take the pain away but it does help releive some pain
ReplyDeleteCrimson, I cannot honestly believe you've never felt heartbroken before... I can list a few times I've felt the "heartbroken" feeling- some are just chips off the edge and one or two are total shatters.
ReplyDeleteGood post:)
I've been heartbroken, but never to this degree.
ReplyDeleteAnd thanks :)