Blind Fold

My struggle with suicidalness was like a blind fold. Excuse me if I speak metephorically for a moment...

I felt like I was trapped- sometimes in a prison with nothing to look forward to but my own misery, sometimes between a 100ft brick wall and savage beasts waiting to devour me. There were MANY ways out and even a bright, shimmery world outside the window of my cell. However, I was in a trance-like state where I could not see the world outside.

Honestly, back then, I had more friends, less stress, more opportunities for fun and less obstacles back then than I do now. Yet back then I wanted to die, shoot myself in the head if I could ever find a gun. (I figured it was the best way to go, and after awhile I did NOT want to be saved). And now? I'm as happy as a clam!

Why? Well, it's a long story... It involved some therapy and pills, which didn't work so well, and this amazing opportunity. I'm dirt poor and have always quit on everything, but somehow I ended up with a horse. My dad got her for me, and then I had someone depending on me that NEEDED me and showed me how much I could achieve. However, I now realize that I did not NEED my horse (her name's Star, btw) to save myself. It was just a small step in the right direction that allowed me to realize how great life really is.

Anyway, I'll write more later. Thanks for reading so far. And as always, feel free to contact us via message or comments:)


-Steph

INTRO TO TOURNEQUET FOR THE UNDEAD

So, you may have stumbled upon this blog by Googling "Ways to Commit Suicide." This blog is here to help those who are contemplating suicide and those who are trying to help a suicidal friend. This blog will NOT tell you how to kill yourself. It was created by a girl who has survived nearly 4 years of major depression and suicidalness and a girl who has survived an actual suicide attempt. Suicide is NOT the only answer, although it may seem like it. Please read our blogs, because we want to help you. As for those who are here to find help for a friend, READ OUR BLOGS GODDAMNIT! Ignorance kills, no joke. Please educate yourself as much as possible, because what you say can really mean life or death right now for your friend.

Thanks for reading, and I'll try to post my first post ASAP! Message or comment and I will get back to you as well. It would also be great if you could post a link to this blog on your networking sites and what not!!


-Steph