Blind Fold

My struggle with suicidalness was like a blind fold. Excuse me if I speak metephorically for a moment...

I felt like I was trapped- sometimes in a prison with nothing to look forward to but my own misery, sometimes between a 100ft brick wall and savage beasts waiting to devour me. There were MANY ways out and even a bright, shimmery world outside the window of my cell. However, I was in a trance-like state where I could not see the world outside.

Honestly, back then, I had more friends, less stress, more opportunities for fun and less obstacles back then than I do now. Yet back then I wanted to die, shoot myself in the head if I could ever find a gun. (I figured it was the best way to go, and after awhile I did NOT want to be saved). And now? I'm as happy as a clam!

Why? Well, it's a long story... It involved some therapy and pills, which didn't work so well, and this amazing opportunity. I'm dirt poor and have always quit on everything, but somehow I ended up with a horse. My dad got her for me, and then I had someone depending on me that NEEDED me and showed me how much I could achieve. However, I now realize that I did not NEED my horse (her name's Star, btw) to save myself. It was just a small step in the right direction that allowed me to realize how great life really is.

Anyway, I'll write more later. Thanks for reading so far. And as always, feel free to contact us via message or comments:)


-Steph